


Come and Fade me

by wildfloweur



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Sexual Assault, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Supportive Avengers, avengers team being adorable, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:43:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfloweur/pseuds/wildfloweur
Summary: Life is hard when you feel too much, but when surrounded by the right people maybe it's an opportunity to learn about yourself and tame the hurricane living inside you.And use it for the better.





	1. Hurricane

The city was already awake and noisy as you opened your tired eyes, instantly checking you clock..  
You had 3 whole hours left before your first class of the semester, yet you already felt the familiar feeling of anxiety building up in your guts.  
Trying to ignore it you reached out to open the window and allow the fresh air to cool down your small student room, chills quickly ran up your spine as you felt your sweaty pajamas and sheets sticking at your skin, you didn't sleep much last night and needed a shower to clear out your messy thoughts.

You've always been the "stressed out" kind, "the oversensitive" kid.. sometimes were harder than others but for the past couple of years you had been fighting a full time war against yourself. So going back to college was probably not the best idea for the moment, but you had to go. Or at least you felt like you HAD to go, to reassure your mother about the outcome of your future, and to stop feeling guilty.

After a while you got dressed, coldly looked down your anxiolitics before swallowing them and headed out the door. Fortunatly the weather was on your side, the sunlight timidly brushing your skin, brightening up your mood a bit.

_"I can do this."_

Headphones on for extra protection from the outside world, you put your favorite song on full volume; music has always been an huge emotional suppport for you, actually art in general was a way to escape from your morose thoughts and even express them. You painted, wrote poetry, sang when you were sure nobody could hear you..

Finally you arrived at your destination; quite proud of yourself for not having a panic attack on the subway.

 _"I can't ignore the fact that those pills are effective.."_ you thought, but your day was only beginning.

The City College of New York was a pretty impressive building, invaded by thousands of students running from side to side to get to class in time. You took a time to appreciate the architecture before making your way to you first lecture: Postwar Art in the US and Europe.

Eventually you made it until the end of the day, went to all of your classes, took notes, got actually interested in the lectures and even made small talk with other students.

 _"Looks like it's not that bad after all."_ you smirked to yourself and walked your way back to the subway, it was your last suffering before finally getting back home and have a small but comforting dinner. After all, all you did was go to class but it felt like a huge achievement to you, and you were emotionally drained.

The sky was already getting dark as you immersed yourself underground, there was only you waiting on the platform and on the train, reassuring you as you sat down on one of the many empty seats, hoping they would stay like that until the end of your ride.

Unfortunately the feeling of safety you had earlier dismissed when 3 rather drunk men got on the train, sitting a bit too close for your liking... and staring a bit too much aswell.

Considering you had only four stops left you decided to get up and stand in front of the doors, your hand clenched around the subway pole.

"Hey there.."

_"shit"_

"hello? we're talking to you ma'am"

You looked ahead, ignoring the men as they started to whistle at you, you could feel your heart beating faster and your palms getting sweatier as they continued catcalling you.

"Why you ignoring us ? c'mon!" 

Out of the corner of your eyes you noticed the three men getting up and stepping dangerously closer to you.

 _"I hate men, I fucking hate men."_ you thought still trying to igore them. They kept getting closer and closer until you felt their smelly breath on your face and their lewd stares on your figure. You were paralysed, enable to move or even talk, anxiety overtaking you, knowing your lack of response started to irritate them. 

 _"no, no, no (y/n) come on.."_ You will not allow yourself to have a panick attack and probably faint all alone, surrounded by those three disgusting men.

"Don't touch me." you finally breathed out.

Suddenly one of them reached out to grab you, your eyes shutting as a reflex and before you knew it a deep wave of pressure crawled out of your body and violently sprayed around you making everything silent for a split second. 

When you opened your eyes again you were curled up on the floor covered in shattered glass, the train was wrecked and you could hear grunts of pain coming from your attackers.

"I said don't touch me." you whimpered, and everything went dark.


	2. Truths

Muffled bipping sounds were slowly starting to wake you up, making you come back to the surface.

Sunlight seeming a lot more blinding than usual you slowly and painfully opened your eyes to take a look at your surroundings; pale greenish walls, white curtains, monitors, thin white sheets, as your eyes adjusted to the light you noticed there were words printed all over them.

_"Metropolitan.. Hospital..Center"_

You were too stoned to even realise you were currently staying at the kind of place you hated the most.

On the other hand you realised pretty fast that your back was injured considering the time it took you to be fully sitting up, you lifted the sheets to look at you bruised legs, and brought your hand to the sharp pain your felt on your brow bone.

_"stitches.."_

Eventually you tried to recall what happened to you hours earlier; the subway, three men, panick... and then lights and sirens, emergencies, you uncomfortably lying on the ground and waking up here was all you were sure of, but about what occured after your panic attack was a blur, a black hole in your memory.

"What happened, I can't have fainted.." you sighed

Suddenly the curtains surrounding your bed for privacy were shot opened, abruptly dragging you out of your thoughts.

"So we are woken up I see. How are we feeling today?" a nurse asked, her uniform matching the colors of the walls.

"I'm okay." you responded, your eyes following her movements as she checked your tension and other contusions you didn't even realise you had. She seemed sweet, carefully moving your limbs making sure she didn't hurt you, giving you reassurings smiles. being closer to her you could read the name tag pinned to her blouse: _Valery._ She was quite a small woman, dark blonde hair in a low bun, small brown eyes, skin wrinkled on their outer corners. She was probably the same age as your mother and reminded you of her, explaining why her presence calmed you down.

"Good, we can send you home, no need to keep you here any longer.." She stated, giving you a shot of relief, you hated hospitals.

"I must say you were pretty lucky, considering what fell on your face three days ago.. " she said as she was about to leave the room.

"Wait, wait!" you exclaimed in panic, "I've been here for three days?

The woman nodded, much to your discontent: there was no way you could pay the medical bills for a three days stay at the Hospital.

"I-I can't, I mean I can't pay, I don't even know-" you were so dumbstruck you couldn't even finish your sentence, too much was going on your mind and the pain killers no longer making effect made it impossible to think straight. Thankfully the nurse noticed your distress and offered you a glass of water, that was actually much needed.

"Listen, I'll get your stuff, you change and i'll accompany you to the reception and we'll figure it out okay?" Valery said squeezing your hand.

 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

Some time later you were fully dressed, even dusty your clothes felt way better than the hosptital blouse you wore for three days in a row. Valery took you to the elevator and walked you to the reception where you anxiously waited for the receptionist to come back from his break.

"I have to go back to work sweetheart, good luck." Valery told you squeezing your hand again. 

"Of course, thank you for everything." You said before she jogged back to the elevator.

"Hello? can I help you?"

You turned your head back to the office, you didn't notice the receptionist was back.

"Yes, hello, I've been here for three days and I wanted to know how much-"

"Your name please?" the man cut you off, his eyes not leaving his computer screen his fingers resting the keyboard.

"F/N L/N" 

He started typing out your name, humming while searching through the files "there, F/N L/N.." you heard him click and impatiently waited to hear the amount of money you will have to find to pay a bill you haven't even wanted first. You didn't choose to be harrassed on the subway, you didn't choose to be here when then train collapsed.

"Well, you have no fees left to pay, you can leave." the man told you, finally lifting up his eyes from the screen. 

"What? are- are you sure?" you asked in disbelief.

"Yes, it's written here, if you don't mind I have work to do so goodbye." the receptionist answered coldly, picking up his phone to text.

"Okay.."

You picked up your bag and slowly left the hall, not sure how to feel about the fact that you probably had a billionaire guardian angle.

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
Wanting to avoid any trouble you decided to walk your way to your apartment. Even if you lived blocks and blacks away from the hospital, the subway was not an option. 

The sun was coming down when you finally arrived, you quickly searched for your keys and climbed up the stairs. As you got closer to your door you could here music coming from inside your flat, you were sure your radio was off when you left.. three days ago.  
Anyhow, after everything you’ve been through, if someone was inside to murder you, you couldn't care less.  
Opening the door, you peaked your head inside, everything was in it place, your bed was even made.. and a tall Black man with an eyepatch was making himself tea in your kitchenette. 

« Who the hell are you! » you shouted.

« Hi! sorry, I made myself at home, you have a good music taste for someone your age, girl. » the mysterious man said taking a sip of tea. “and my name is Nick Fury.”

 

“You took my favorite cup.” you sighed loosely pointing at the Star Wars mug Fury was holding, taken aback and exhausted you didn’t react as fast and as violently as anyone would have.

“Oh sorry ‘bout that.” he took an other sip and starred at you patiently, starting to make you feel a bit uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry..” you said breaking the silence “but..what are you doing here exactly, I mean, am I in trouble ?” 

Fury didn’t say anything and searched in is pocket for an electronic device, probably his phone, tapped on its screen and handed it to you, confused by the gesture you noticed that a play button was waiting for you to tap on. 

“What is it?” you asked curiously.

“You tell me.” Fury responded raising his brow.

You didn't really understand what he meant by that but looked down at the screen and pressed play;  
There was no sound, just poor quality images from surveillance cameras; three men getting on a train and a woman already sitting there - you. You were watching your ride home from three days ago.

“what-“ you looked up at fury who directed you to keep on watching.

You watched yourself getting assaulted again, tears filling your eyes remembering how awful it felt to be so vulnerable.  
You were about to turn off the video when the images began flickering, making everything blurry, glass exploding, a shock spreading and lifting up the dirt like a wave around your barely noticeable figure, now looking like a grey stain on the screen, the three man bodies being propelled at each corner of the wagon.

Without a word you gave Nick Fury his phone back, you didn't understand what you just saw, how it happened, a million questions ran through your brain waking the panic inside your chest. You finally looked up at fury who was studying you with concern; "I-I just had a panic attack" you said with a broken voice, barely audible.

"Well, panic attacks don't usually cause a scale 5 earthquake." Nick said with a laugh. "Listen, I need to know how you are able to do that, if it ever happened before."

"I don't know! It never happened before, it's just a coincidence, it's not me! I-I don't have any superpowers or some shit!" you shouted in fear and exasperation.

"Are you sure?" Fury retorted, looking around your small appartment, his gaze settling here and there on the several small cracks that grew on your walls.

Remaining silent, you got up and walked around your flat, examining your room ; cracks appearing for no reasons on your walls and window, finding plates and glasses broken in your cupboard even though you took extreme care of the few pieces of furniture you had, your framed picture falling off during the night, at your most anxious times, when you were having terrible breakdowns, depressive episodes. All of this time you just thought your flat was unsanitary..or haunted, but still you had trouble admitting you possibly had powers.

"Do-do you think I am dangerous?" you asked Fury, unsure if you wanted to hear his answer.

"I think, you have an ability, and I think you need to learn how to use it." Nick responded putting your cup in the sink. "And I know people who can help you to do that."

 

 

"Wait--did Tony Stark pay my hospital bill?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter !  
> this one is a bit longer I believe, and english is not my first language so the grammar is most likely incorrect sorry  
> enjoy!!


	3. New Home

Fury had made a proposition, he gave you an opportunity to make something out of your ability, that you didn't even know about until now. However you had trouble making up your mind; accepting Fury's offer meant leaving everything behind: your small but comfy flat, your studies, the few close friends you had.. and what were you going to tell your mom? 

You were drowning in doubts.

"Do I have time to think about it?" you asked Fury sheepishly.

"Well, I would give you all the time you need but the government is not really fond of unmonitored young people with superpowers." he responded with a tone of irony.

"So, they sent you to find me?"

"No, I made sure to find you before they do." he said with a serious look this time.

That being said it clearly didn't feel like a choice anymore.. even if your heart was screaming for you to follow the tall man that broke into your appartment; your mind kept telling you otherwise.

"I'll leave you my number, just in case." Fury declared while holding out a small white card and putting it down your kitchen counter.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

_"Am I good enough? my anxiety will fuck it up.. What if I'm not as good as Fury thought? What I can't do my .. thing again?"_

You tossed and turned all night long, questions and self doubt turmoiling your sleep. Finally you gave up on trying to sleep and simply laid on your back, your eyes fixing your cracked ceiling.

"fuck it."

You threw you covers away and go up to back your bags, emptying your drawers in the tiny and only suitcase you had, making you sit on it to be able to close the zipper.

When you were done you walked to your kitchen, where Fury left his card, you slowly picked it up, and examined the square shaped piece of paper, impressed by how official it looked. Eventually you registered his number in you contact list and started typing, deleting and rewriting again and again the words you typed to make sure you sounded as professional as possible.

After taking a deep breath you finally hit send. You had no time to regret what you just did before your phone rang.

**"Great, picking you up tomorrow.**

**NJF"**

 

Surprisingly; fatigue overcame your body and you fell into the deepest sleep you had in days.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

You were awaken by a light tap on your door, making you jump out of bed right away opening your door in a rush. You were surprised to meet a dark haired woman with a rather stern look standing on the doorway.

"Hi, you must be Y/N, i'm Agent Hill." she said, holding out her hand for you to shake. 

"Nice to meet you.. Agent." you answered awkwardly, then a wave of embarrassment took over you as you remembered you were still in your pajamas..looking as unheroic as ever. "Uh, come in !" you said before running to your bathroom.

The Agent walked in calmly, slowy glancing around your chamber before gesturing you to sit down when you reappeared, properly dressed this time.

"As you may know, since this day you will be resident at the Avengers compound, meaning that you shall keep all the things you see or do there discreet if not confidential." Maria Hill announced.

You were a bit taken aback by hown solemn she sounded.

"You are being offered a home, food, equipment and training which you are obligated to participate in. Do you have any questions?"

"No." You had a million questions.

"Good. Now follow me." she said with a smile you did not expect.

You picked up your bags and followed Maria Hill out of your appartment, throwing a look at the inside one last time before closing the door behind you, your heart heavy with nostalgia.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

An enormous black SUV was parked outside, with none other than Nick Fury waiting for you. 

"I knew it wouldn't take you too long." he said with a complicit look as he opened the back door of the car for you to climb in. "And i hope Agent Hill didn't scare the shit out of you" he sniggered as they both got in their sits"

"She wouldn't be here if it was the case." she retorted winking at you from the rear view reflection.

These interactions warmed your heart and appeased your anxious mind, you finally felt like you made the right decision. You smiled to yourself realising where you were, your life packed up in a single suitcase, on the road to the Avengers compound.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

When you arrived Maria Hill directly led you to your room to settle in.

You couldn't contain your smile as you looked around; It was easily twice as big as your old room, well it wasn't really difficult considering how ridiculously small your previous appartment was. The windows were wide, giving you a nice look on the trees that surrounded the base, you had your own bathroom and a kingsized bed compared to the one you used to sleep in. However the grey tones of the chamber made it look like a empty canva you wished you could cover with your own colors. But for now only the few pieces of furniture you brought would bring your room its personality.

 "I'll give you a tour of the compound in 10." the Agent informed before closing your door.

You took advantage of the few minutes you had to appreciate the view your room offered, observing everything that surrounded the compound, noticing some people running along a track that seemed to draw the countour of the building. As your looked closer you immediatly recognised one of them;

_"Holy shit Captain America.."_

You were impressed by how he looked in real life, you'd seen hundreds of pictures and videos of him and the other Avengers on the news, but none of them made him justice.  A few meters away were two other figures, one of them was, as you guessed, the Falcon who looked way more out of breath than the man running alongside him.

You had trouble recalling who the third man was.. his cap was blocking you from seeing his face. You narrowed your eyes as if it would make your sight clearer, until he looked up at your window, ice blue eyes staring straight at you.

Now you were the one out of breath.

Your starring contest was interrupted by Maria Hill knocking on your door, letting you know it was time for a tour of the compound.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Two training rooms filled with equipment you had never seen before, changing rooms, a swimming pool, a laboratory you knew you weren't allowed in.. That was for the "work" part of the compound. For the "living" part of the building there was a big kitchen, perfectly built to be shared and cook for everybody, a living room filled with a 10 foot long couch and a wide TV screen to match. Making you way around you couldn't help but remark the grand piano elegantly placed at the edge of a mezzanine next to a bay window.

"By the courtesy of mister Stark, he insisted on adding a hint of luxury to this place." Maria Hill sighed when noticing you walking towards the instrument.

"I'm glad he did." you admitted with a smile.

"Miss L/N." Fury's voice called from the hall. "Do you mind if I introduce you to some of our agents?"

"Which ones ?" you asked, nervousness in your voice.

"The ones called the Avengers."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonjour,
> 
> I finally updated this story with a longer chapter ( I think)  
> I hope you like it and yes Bucky is coming be patient  
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> This is my first story with an original character, I really hope you like it even tho this chapter is really short..  
> Talking about mental health issues in this fic is really important to me and fortunatly it will help those who struggle with it aswell.
> 
> xx


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